Sister Grammy Bell Gives Her Down-Home Views on God, America & Homo-Sexuality

Sister_Grammy_BellBy Sister Grammy Bell—Senior Deacon of The First Baptist Church of Cornole

An LGBT-Today Exclusive

I sure is glad my grandson knows how to turn this infernal contraption on or I’d probably be yelling, “Get behind me Satan!” at it!

Well, my grandson was the only one who done graduated the 8th grade so he’s the one I ask about these matters because I was sort of embarrassed to ask the Reverend Graham about the homo-sexual thingy.

Anyways, my grandson told me that it’s all about two men making flipity-flop and two ladies doing the same thing. It’s sort of strange for me to think of it but my grandson says almost everyone in California and New York is a doing it now!

The Reverend Graham done asked me to write about it but he didn’t say what I should say about it. Maybe it’s something we’re supposed to get used to like when my husband Chester and his brother found these weeds a growing behind the barn and started chewing on them and wound up doing things with the pigs that had them sows following them around for months!

They told me if I’d chew the weed that it was better than moonshine but I didn’t care for the taste so I took a bunch of them weeds and mashed them up and put them in a batch of cookies and yeah, I had to admit that it made listening to the radio a lot more fun and I got about a month’s worth of quiltin done in one afternoon!

 

Wildwood Weed by Jim Stafford

But then my sister came by whilst I was in the out-house and thought that was the batch of cookies that was intended for the ladies auxiliary church group and she drove off with them afore I could warn her!

Next thing I knew, old Ginny Mae Farnsworth, may she rest in peace, done took off all her clothes and flied up to the steeple on the church and was doing something Chester called “pole dancin’” with the cross and screaming for someone to ring the church bell!

I had to eat 10 of them cookies to fly up there to get her down.

So if homo-sexuality is anything like those weeds then I guess God made them thar weeds and he made all those other people, too!

If I’m wrong then I’m sure the Reverend Graham will tell me bout it.

Now scuse me while I go eat some of my cookies. I got some major quiltin to do!

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